Coming off the back of Race across Scotland, as I normally do the Ultra Blues had kicked in. I was on such a high and wanted to experience it again. So when I saw the Ultra Scotland 100 pop up along the Southern upland way I signed up.
It's only now as I lay here writing my Blog I question myself as I actually feel really annoyed with myself. I had no reason whatsoever to return to Scotland to do this race, I'd already accomplished more than I could have expected with Race across Scotland and taking 3rd place, and I now feel I've tarnished that a bit with my first DNF.
I hate excuses as it's normally just a way of masking the truth that you just weren't good enough. I've got a list longer than I've ever had before and there all whizzing around my head, what about this and what about that. But ultimately I feel it all stems back to Race across Scotland.
Its only 2 months ago, and I know deep down I wasn't fully recovered, every run since has been a struggle, the bottoms of my feet still hurt if I run on the roads, I can't feel my toe as it's numb in places so I'm guessing the nail has died but it's not black or even discoloured so who knows. After Scotland I stood Liz my running coach down for a month as I was doing my own thing, but that just seemed to turn into my pushing the miles and doing double run days and really not helping the situation. My eating has been crap and I've put on a couple of KG and even smoked a few fags at work 🙈 I've been ill a few times as well and deaf in my right ear for a good 4 weeks.
Race week
Although I knew I wasn't 💯 I knew I'd still go and give it my all. The week actually started with some Dom's after joining into a last minute half marathon and pulling out a cheeky win which I definitely shouldn't of done, but my ego took over. The Tuesday I developed a cough that was really sharp and stung your throat, I actually did a Corona test coz I was feeling that crappy, but all was good. On Wednesday we headed up to Ullswater in the lake District, we knew the race would be boring for the kids so tried to turn it all into a little adventure, this though turned into 3 nights of broken sleep in the campervan with Nelly constantly lashing out in her sleep and punching and kicking you.
Race Day
23rd October and a 4am start, getting out the camper in the pitch black and heading for a freezing cold shower block for a quick shower after 2 hours sleep wasn't the way I thought I'd be starting the day, but this is me, I always have issues on the build up and I just get on with it 🤣
We made our way to the start line and the garage on route was closed, so no coffee to start the day 😭 anyway we were on the start line, all the 50 mile runners and the 100's mixed in together, which myself and others really didn't like. You just didn't know who you were racing and had to try really hard not to get pulled in to the 50's racing. The start was at St Johns in Dalry, which at Race across Scotland was about 40 miles in and I experienced my first wobble so to start there feeling alright was a bit wierd. Anyway we were off, straight up the high street and the 10 runners in front all turned left, I knew it was straight on, so briefly I was leading the 50 and the 100 race 🤣 then I turned to my right it's my good friend Andrew Jackson, from Race across Scotland, he was looking strong and was really up for the race. I know he's fast so I was quite happy to let him go on ahead as I knew I'd see him again at some point.
The first CP was at 8 miles and just a random one on the side of the road, I had supplies on me so flew through, I'd caught up with Andrew again like I thought I would and it was now 14 miles to Sanquhar with some cheeky little climbs, but what goes up must come down so I was attacking the downs as I know I'm a lot stronger on them. For the next couple of miles, Andrew would disappear up the hills and I'd catch him up the downs, but at about 10 miles I really started to have a wobble, and I was questioning everything. Andrew was disappearing into the distance and I had a lad right up my arse, literally copying whatever I did, if I walked he did, if I ran he did, but it really started to annoy me so I stood to the side and told him to go on. At this point I was sat in the top 3, really not feeling good but this is part and parcel of the Ultra game, it comes and goes, but I've never had it this early on, these should have been the easy miles. I got some food in me and I started to settle again and before I knew it I was back with Andrew and we were running into CP2 together.
A quick replen with Mrs Smevs topping me up with tailwind and water and sending me out on my way again. 8 miles to the next CP of Wanlockhead. This leg was pretty tough and I knew I was lagging now, I had to tell Andrew to go, I just needed to run on my own and try and get my head straight. I think deep down I knew it was all over at this point and I had already started going over social media posts in my head letting everyone know I had failed. But I tried to push on and could see Andrew again in the distance running with Charles, he was the annoying one who kept following your race pattern 🤣
We came into Wanlockhead and I tried to put on a happy face, but Mrs Smevs knew I was hurting and Andrew knew something wasn't right as well. I had a bowl of soup and we were then warned that they had issued a severe weather warning, 60mph winds and rain and the next 2 sections were high up top. This really didn't bother me as I love this type of weather, so waterproof jacket, gloves and hat on ready to go. Straight out of Wanlockhead and it's just up and up then some more up. Me and Andrew were together heading towards cp4, we actually had a strong section and overtook a few on the way so we were sat in the top 3 still. I met Mrs Smevs for some Beans and sausages as the next leg was 15 miles and that would also be the half way point and the finish for the 50 milers.
This is where things really went downhill and the decision was made to call it a day. Me and Andrew left Cp4 together and you could see 4th and 5th place catching us up, Andrew was upping the pace and I just couldn't go any faster, everything just felt so heavy and mentally I had completely shut off. I told Andrew to go, you deserve a podium now go get it mate. He went looking so strong, wasn't long and he was completely gone in the distance. 4th overtook me, and I still tried to put up a fight so I overtook him, but then I really started to overheat, even in the strong winds and the rain, so I had to stop to remove my jacket and gloves, 4th then came past me again before we headed into a couple of miles of climbs. Everything was screaming at me at this point and I knew I was done, but just tried to refuse to believe it, but then came a big down hill and my knee went, I tried to run it off but every downhill it just got worse, so I called it. I was still 7.5 miles from the CP but I got my phone out and called the boss to tell her it was over, I was calling it. She would normally try and talk me out of it like the Backyard ultra but she didn't even question me, she knew something wasn't right and excepted my decision. So I hobbled, plodded, walked, hopped whatever it was through to the CP where Mrs Smevs and the kids were waiting. I handed in my tracker feeling fine about my decision, my first DNF but I knew it was the right thing to do.
I shouldn't have done the race full stop but I tried to mask problems that were there when I should have been honest with myself.
The race ended up getting cancelled in the end because the weather got even worse and it was too dangerous for the runners, so when you look at it like that, it could have been worse. Imagine me having the race of my life, then it getting cancelled, think I really would have been gutted then.
I'd like to Thank GB ultras for yet another brilliant event, but most importantly Mrs Smevs and the kids for being the best support crew ever. 🙌🙌
What's next?
I really don't know, I'm meeting up with my coach this week to discuss everything. But that's racing complete for 2021, hasn't been a bad year really.
Thanks alot everyone
Mr Smevs x
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